I love him so…Posted: July 15, 2008
I am completely and ridiculously head over heels in love with my baby! People probably tried to warn me but I don’t think it is possible to describe the love a mother has for her child : )
Please don’t laugh but last Sunday night Mark and I were talking. I told him I was worried that this all might be a big “let down”. That it would be good and all but ultimately not that great…. I know I know… I am weird but crazy thoughts were running through my head the night before we were headed to the hospital. Mark said he didn’t think so and was pretty sure it would be amazing.
Well he was right. My heart is just overflowing with love for Trey. Sometimes I sit and hold him after I feed him and I just cry. Its like I don’t know what else to do with everything I feel inside. I stare at him for hours. A nurse commented in the hospital how she had never been in a room where the TV was not on all the time. Ours wasn’t because we were too wrapped up in being with him! His eyes captivate me! I love the way he smells and have noticed I am starting to smell like him. I get sad when night rolls around because I know our time together has ended for the day (for the most part). Yes, I am smitten over my baby!
As I was trying to fall asleep in the middle of feedings last week, God spoke to me. He said, “I love you the same way”. I had just spent some time just holding Trey close to my face before putting him to sleep and God spoke to my heart and said “I love holding you close too”. I know in the Bible it says that God is the “giver of all good things”. I think if he is the “giver” of the love of a parent then how much more so does He love us. I can not even fathom!
It is so good to catch small glimpse, of what I am sure will be many, of God’s love through our baby boy!