I need a “Mary Heart”!

I am getting nervous. I never realized how comfortable I had gotten here until recentley. We are moving next week and instead of feeling “holiday cheer” I have a huge knot in my stomach.

I was thinking about Mary today. This girl is young, inexperienced, ordinary and all else that comes with being around 14 and 15 years old. Out of no where she is delivered the news that she (of all the women in the world) has been chosen to carry God’s Son. Oh and not just carry him but raise him!!!

So this is where Mary and I differ…. I would have freaked out! If God had called me to that task I would have probably cried, needed to take a drive, told God every reason this was not a good idea, freaked out again, and then maybe when I was out of places to run….surrendered (I write this pattern on random assumption surly not on repeated action). Then later I might have praised God and thanked Him.

But not Mary.

No. She immediately surrenders, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done according to your word.” She praises the Lord, “My soul exults the Lord, And my  spirit has rejoiced..” She assumes God has blessed her, “…all generations will call me blessed.” She trusts He has all the details worked out, “He has done mighty deeds with His arm;“(Luke 1).

I want to be like that. You know the first time surrendering and trusting. I have a guess on how she did it though….

She continually kept her heart on God and not her circumstances.

Mark and I went down to Savannah last weekend to take a load of out junk. It was really fun to actually move stuff in. But on the flip side, it made me even more nervous because this is actually becoming a reality. On the way back, I told Mark I needed to listen to some ‘Jesus music’ because I was literally sick to my stomach thinking about everything. It was so awesome. In our car, somewhere on 16, we worshiped God. It had been a long time since I had sung to Him and it was wonderful! And as we sang, I began to remember all God had done and all he was doing. After a while I became really excited about Savannah, I mean really excited!!

It was all a matter of perspective…. mine vs. His.

This isn’t going to be easy but I am learnign that God is good. And is worth the praise from the very begining of a calling!


One Comment on “I need a “Mary Heart”!”

  1. I SO love you and your heart! I love reading about your progression and about the journey God has you on. You are a Mary in your own way! May many generations call you blessed as you follow the Lord and leave a spiritual legacy for others!

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