Life Change.Posted: October 5, 2009
About a year or so ago, I saw this youtube video called “Cardboard Testimonies”. It got pretty popular. I’m sure you’ve seen it. If not look it up. Basically people put what they were before on the front of the cardboard and what they are after Christ on the other side. I thought it was awesome!
Part of the vision of our church is “transform a city by transforming lives”. I love that! I prayed for that and was excited God allowed us to be apart of a church with that vision.
I think in my mind I saw the transformation of lives as something… “pretty”. Maybe an awesome church service where people come down to the front crying and praying…..or maybe a retreat or camp or something. I wanted to see people’s life changed for the glory of God! I wanted the whole cardboard testimonies to happen at our church!
And God has answered. But not how I expected.
Life change is messy. It hurts. It keeps me up at night. It keeps me on my knees. It makes me get out of my comfort zone. It gets way too personal and way too uncomfortable at times. It makes me vulnerable in front of others. Life change takes up my free time and time on the weekends. It is embarrassing. It takes a considerable amount of commitment and TIME. It cost money. Life change can even make me question God.
I have never been apart of people’s lives and their own journey’s like I have here. I care deeply for those in our church. I love them like family. I cry for them, rejoice with them and pray for them. I seriously love our people so much! Although it is all the things listed above, I love these people. I love being apart of their “life change”.
But in my prayers for Canvas Church, to see lives changed for the transformation of a city and the glory of God, I did not expect for my name to be on the top of the list.
Through the process of this whole church planting deal, God has ripped me to shreds! I mean that too. He has taken some things that were good and very precious to me. He has stripped my identity. I have struggled things I never thought I would struggle with and thought things I never thought I would think. He has heated up the pressure and stress of our circumstances to where my only choice was to be on my knees. I have been every emotion towards Him and told Him to many times I want out.
My life (the life that two years ago I pridefully didn’t think needed it) has been transformed! This has been a hard year… or so… but Praise God for it! The difficulties and battles have been my refining fire! The pain is only temporary because it removed something that kept me for God. I have gained His perspective on many areas I did not have it. The work in my heart is far from done! I know God has much left to do but let me warn you in this….. Don’t pray for life change if you are not willing to be the first in line to go through it!
“Come let us return to the Lord, For He has torn us but He will heal us; He has wounded us but He will bandage us.”- Hosea 6:1