This isn’t working.

Mark and I learned so many things about the Lord during our time in Savannah. We have lots of stories. I have been wanting to blog about this particular one and didn’t quite have the words until now.
I will not waste my time trying to convince anyone we were called to Savannah. We know we were called and that’s all that matters.
Our experience over the last two years was hardly easy or “pretty”. We pressed on and on to do what God called us to do. Mark was diligent in his efforts, but a job never opened up to “keep our heads above water” financially. We lived on very very little.
In September his hours were cut at work. The kids I had been keeping through the summer went back to school and by October our budget looked ugly! I remember we were sitting on the sofa trying to figure out what bills to pay. It finally hit me and I said, “Baby, this is not working.” We had given it our best shot but it just was not working.
Sometimes I think you can get so deep in your situation, whatever it is, that you miss the obvious. It is freeing to just take a step back and look at things as they really are.
So we did. We decided to pray and see what God was doing. Mark took a third job delivering pizzas to make ends meet in the meantime and we prayed! Obviously, our family of four could not continuing living on our current salary. We knew God was big enough. He could have made it work abundantly if He wanted to but He wasn’t so we were asking “why?”. Our specific prayer was for God to (a) provide a better job (b) a way to get paid by the church or (c) to move us on if that be His will.

So obviously through a series of closed doors in Savannah and open doors to Atlanta, God led us back.

But this was a huge moment for both of us and especially me. I think I always thought by saying “this isn’t working” we were failing God….. or even worse… God was failing us. Hadn’t He called us? Did He forget about us? Did He just want to play some cruel joke? I mean we made it pretty clear we were trusting Him and…. um… I don’t know but…. I didn’t think our situation made Him look so good.

But this is what He has taught me:
#1- I am not the first one to feel like God has forsaken me. Job 9:16-19 Psalm 22:1-2 Psalm 88:6-8 Ruth 1:13 Genesis 40: 23 Matt. 27:46
There is freedom in honesty before the Lord!
#2 (Flashback to Experiencing God) God moves! His Spirit is moving and active! HE is the one who calls, moves, directs and plans. We should spend less time asking Him to bless and change our situation and more time seeking Him! What is He doing? Where is He going? What is He allowing in our lives? What is He up to? What is His plan for us? (Isaiah 44:6 Isaiah 43:18-19 John 14:26 Isaiah 55:9)
#3 Only God is responsible for God’s glory! I think for so long I was trying to make excuses for God or cover up our reality. That is not my job. If we are trusting our lives to Him, He will take care of His glory. I shared a little of that here. (Exodus 14:4 Isaiah 40:5 Isaiah 28:11 Ephesians 1:12)
#4 He will not forsake us! He is always with us! He has a plan amidst the bleakest circumstances! (Jeremiah 29:11 Isaiah 43:1-5 Deuteronomy 23:5 Isaiah 58:11)

“Cease striving and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heavens and the earth.” Psalm 46:10

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3 Comments on “This isn’t working.”

  1. Brittany Gerhart says:

    Hello,
    I came across your blog through a friends facebook page Sarah Cain, we are prayerfully considering adopting and I was snooping. 🙂 I don’t know anything about you but this post just spoke to me. My husband and I just went through what sounds like a very similar situation…..we were called to plant a church where we were living, we did everything right, we lived on nothing, and it wasn’t working. We ended up quiting our calling/dream of our church and moving away to a job like a week ago. I’m still in the why phase….don’t understand why God allowed this to happen and it just hurts! I’ll be reading the versus you added tonight! Crazy how similar our stories seem to be! 🙂

  2. That is crazy!!! Our stories are so similar! I totally understand the hurt and pain and “why’s”! We are still in the “why” and the “what just happened?” phase too. Its all very weird.
    I’m glad the Lord was able to use our situation to encourage you! I will be praying you continue to find Him in this ‘new season’ of your life!

  3. […] Loved the city! Love the people! We love our church! But felt God leading is back to Atlanta. (more about that). Over the last couple of months I have been asked, “So what are ya’ll’s (a […]


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