Our Beautiful Mess

If you have been friends with Mark and I for any amount of time over the last few years or even if you have just been friends enough to stalk us on facebook, you must be aware of the fact that our life is an unpredictable mess! I mean there is just no denying it. Shoot, I called a customer service rep. at Georgia Power the other day to have our service transfered and he saw it!

He said, “so you lived in Atlanta, moved to Savannah, moved back to Atlanta and then back down there? Why did you do that?”. I’m thinking buddy doesn’t even know the half of it. He can’t see like three other moves that are sandwiched in there some where. For a second, it almost got real with ‘random GA Power tech.’. Because in my head I was thinking, “I. DON’T. KNOW. We thought we were following God but maybe instead He is playing this mind game with us and has secret plans for us to do ministry in the loony bin…. because I’m so confused right now I might be headed there!!!” But you will be glad to know, I instead, laughed awkwardly and proceeded to stay focused with the purpose of my call.

I find myself getting mad. And this my not be “Christianly correct” to say but I get mad at God. (With all due respect to my Lord, I say that. I am forever and ever grateful that He allows me to be completely honest and human with Him!) I don’t understand because surely if you do what He tells you, life will work out peachy and clean. I don’t like messy. Again, ask my mom. I didn’t finger paint in preschool… I didn’t play in the mud as a kid. I like clean. I so want this clean cut, easy to follow plan from God. I want to follow Him and keep my life in tack. 

So I had this all out pity party a couple weeks ago. . I was looking through my phone…. because if you are in need of the Lord, where else do you look?! Ha! I wasn’t looking for Him. I wanted to whine and play the comparison game on facebook. But this is who my God is, people, He reached out to me in my pathetic misery through my phone. I stumbled across this video from Andrew Peterson, called “the Silence of God”. The song is incredible and honest. At the end of the video He references Hebrews 12.

“For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrew 12:3

And somehow it hit me… Exactly, who did I think I was following? Look at scripture; Look at Jesus’ life. His journey was not pain-free. It was not clean. It was not easy. And His followers…. they gave up everything to follow Him. Their life, careers, families and all that they held dear, were sacrificed for the opportunity to follow Him. They could never predict what Jesus would do next. They just followed Him. 

I get caught up on my “calling”. It’s like I want Him to lead me somewhere or to do something and then just leave me alone. I think I want Jesus to be my host. You know, show me to my seat and sit down kind of thing. “I’ll follow You to my seat, Lord, thank you.” But that is not the gospel journey. It is never ending on this side of eternity. My first “calling” is to follow Him….. wherever that may be. I do believe God places ‘callings’ upon our life but I don’t think it is our job to interpret. Look at Abraham. God said he would be the “Father of many nations”. His descendants would “out number the stars”. My way of handling that information from the Lord would be to well… get busy…. because that’s my ‘calling’. God, however, had a far greater and more beautiful plan for Abraham. And through his journey, he came to know God so much more intimately. But it was a journey.

So I am reminded of these things: 

#1 – We are following a messy God. “Consider Him…” Hebrews 12:3

#2- In that, we are simply called to trust, obey and follow Him.

“And He said to them, follow Me…” Matthew 5:19

Its good He never asked me to figure it out. Because I don’t have one piece of our life figured out at the moment. Our life is messy but I can assure you of this, to our best knowledge and understanding, our family is following Jesus. 

And like one of my favorite books well describes Him, 

Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” – Chronicles of Narnia C.S. Lewis




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